Missing Him

I'm sitting at home with so much to do,
My cell phone not ringing with a call from you.
Wish you were here to ease my mind,
But these old college pictures are all I can find.
The kids are growing fast, growing up every day,
They're sweet and funny as ever with the things that they say.
"Is Daddy coming home? Will he be here soon?"
But all I can tell them is to send a message with the moon.
"Maybe he's looking and he'll hear you speak.
Just look at the moon if it's Daddy you seek.
He'll look too and he'll send his love,
The moon is our messenger from up above."
We keep ourselves busy as the year goes by,
We make lives for ourselves and try not to cry,
But there's a sadness deep down that only you can replace,
And I cannot wait till you get home and put a smile on my face.
I'm amazed at the strength that the kids truly show,
Knowing you're gone for so long, wondering where you did go.
They are the ones who hold it together for me,
They bring laughter and hope and joy and glee.
I miss you so much but I'm so proud of you,
This is just life in the Army and what soldiers' wives do.

The choices we make

If there is one thing I have learned in my almost 5 years of being a parent, it is that some situations lead to a quick decision, and you can't regret what choice you've made. But sometimes I do. Take, for example, my situation last night. Due to excessive playing outdoors, my kids were beyond worn out by bedtime. Hunter usually takes a little while to fall asleep, but last night, all was quiet pretty soon after I closed his door. Despite the speed at which he drifted off to dreamland, he found the time to poop in his pants beforehand. Had I had this realization before he fell asleep, I would have definitely changed his pull-up. Unfortunately, however, I was not in-the-know. So a choice had to  be made - to wake him up and change him or not. He has never been one to poop while sleeping, so he had to know the poop was there before he fell asleep. So technically, he made the choice to do it and fall asleep with it. Do I let it fly, or do I disturb his peacefulness? Anyone who has ever had a 2 year old knows how difficult it can be to get him/her to go to bed, so the one night he does it easily, should I ruin it? Well, I chose to leave well enough alone. If he is capable of relaxing in such a state, who am I to take that comfort away from him? I later regretted it when I suppose it just became too much to bear, and he woke me up at 1:00 in the morning, begging me to change it. I should have changed it when I noticed it. You live and learn.
But my day of quick decisions was not over. I was awakened again at 5:30  by the sound of Tally flushing the potty. She immediately went back to her room and fell back asleep with her light on. All morning, until it was time to go to the bus stop, I questioned whether or not she should go to school. She said her belly didn't feel well, but she wanted to go to school. She didn't eat any breakfast, which should have been a tell tale sign. I ignored the red flags, went against my better judgement, took her word for it when she said she was ok, and I sent her on her way to school. Soon after, she threw up on the bus. I know my child. I knew she wasn't quite right. I should have kept her home. But I am just not up to par on these quick decisions that parenting is forcing me to make! You live and learn.

Back in the saddle again

Several people lately have asked me about blogging to which I replied that I haven't done it in years. Back in the day when Myspace was all the rage, I was an avid blogger. But then Facebook took over the world of social networking, and as my time on Myspace dwindled, I eventually shut it down, leaving all my blogs and precious memories behind. What was I thinking?! All those hours I spent documenting my silly misadventures of moving overseas, becoming a mom, having a deployed husband, owning a dog who knows how to push my buttons, dealing with an uncoordinated body, etc, etc. - they're all for naught. Would it have killed me to copy and paste those blogs into a Word document? I had poems in there that took a few brain cells that I will never get back! But it does no good to dwell upon the past. I have no other choice now but to move on and start again. Kind of like when you're starving at 9:30 at night because the the demanding nature of caring for children alone overshadows the desire to eat at a decent hour, so you cook a delicious meal in the microwave only to promptly drop the piping hot food on the floor on your way to the couch in hopes of enjoying a meal in peace. Then you're still starving and on top of that mad because now you have a mess to clean up, except the dog seems to lick most of it up before you can even fathom getting a paper towel, but the last thing you want is a dog with an upset stomach so you attempt to shoo the dog away before he devours the entire meal. So once the mess is clean, you have to start over. Yeah. Like that.