The Belly

While carrying Baby #3 for 9 months and growing quite exceptionally large, my belly took a serious beating. As my midwife put it at my 6 week post-partum checkup, my "guts fell out." In other words, I have a hernia. My abdominal muscles stretched and pulled apart so much that they pretty much no longer exist. There is a gaping hole in my abdominal wall, and I guess she was correct when she said my "guts fell out." That description does not create a pretty mental picture, but if I told you which organ is actually protruding through my abdominal wall, you would most likely cringe and have an even worse mental picture, so I will spare you the details. Regardless, the hole is BIG, and it has to be fixed. I have been walking around like this for 6 months now after being told to simply "lose more baby weight and we'll talk about it." So I did. I ran with a vengeance for several months until cold weather struck the Tennessee/Kentucky state line, and I am back down to my original pre-baby weight (or possibly below it). My eating habits as a "single" mother of 3 probably had something to do with it too, but I'll blame the running. So earlier this week I re-visited the surgeon with whom I talked to before, and he confirmed that my belly needed to be fixed, especially now that I suffer from random spurts of nausea, mild pain, and overall discomfort. I am not supposed to have any more children following the surgery, however, because pregnancy will undo everything they fix. So while they're in there, they will also perform a tubal ligation, or in layman's terms, they will tie my tubes. I am fine with that. I've always only wanted three kids, and I have reached my goal and am perfectly content with my three beautiful children. The surgeon first said we could do it in February. I would love to, but my beloved deployed husband is coming home for 2 weeks in February, and I refuse to ruin his vacation by forcing him to take care of me while I recover from abdominal surgery. Therefore, I will have the surgery in March. Recovery will not be easy, especially with 3 high-energy kids, but I can do this. Several members of my family have suggested me going home for the surgery, but I cannot imagine being gone for so long or staying in someone else's house for well over a month while I attend pre-op appointments, have the surgery, and then have post-op appointments and recover. Plus, and maybe this is the real subconscious reason, but there's just something comforting about being in my own home (OUR own home) while my husband is deployed. I don't know why, but I just want to be here where I can easily be found if needed. But all that aside, it is hard to believe that March is really not that far away. I will be relieved to have my stomach fixed and have my guts pushed back in. Now if we could only do something about the loose skin...